Can coaching be dangerous?

Can coaching be dangerous?

It’s a question, or sometimes an affirmation, that appears pretty often in the personal development area, especially when we are talking about ethical boundaries.

Yes, coaching can be dangerous, but not in the way most people think.

Coaching becomes risky not because the method itself is harmful, but because of how it’s practiced and by whom. When done well, coaching is one of the safest, most empowering methodologies for personal and professional growth.

But when done poorly, unethically, or outside its scope, it can absolutely create harm.

Let's talk about this specific situations.

1. Coaching is dangerous when the coach works outside their competence.

Examples:

   •          Using coaching techniques on someone who actually needs therapy.

   •          Trying to “heal trauma” without trauma-training.

   •          Pushing people into emotional territory they’re not resourced to handle.

   •          Acting as a consultant/mentor/therapist without training in any of those areas.

Good coaches know when NOT to coach.

Great coaches refer out.

2. Coaching is dangerous when the coach gives advice or imposes their agenda.

This is where a lot of harm happens.

A coach who tries to “fix,” “guide,” “instruct,” or “convince” the client exposes them to:

   •          dependency

   •          disempowerment

   •          shame when the advice doesn’t work

   •          losing trust in their own inner authority

Coaching done right strengthens autonomy and self awareness.

Coaching done wrong replaces the client’s voice with the coach’s voice.

3. Coaching is dangerous when the coach is untrained or uncertified.

Anyone can call themselves a coach.

But not everyone knows:

   •          ethics

   •          contracting

   •          scope of practice

   •          boundaries

   •          reflective listening

   •          nervous-system awareness

   •          emotional regulation

   •          progress tracking

   •          how to create a safe container

   •          what to do when a client becomes dysregulated

Untrained coaches often “wing it”, and the client pays the price.

4. Coaching can be dangerous if the relationship doesn’t include clear boundaries and consent.

Examples:

   •          Sessions that go too deep too fast

   •          Creating pressure to perform or change

   •          Making promises like “I’ll fix your life in 3 sessions”

   •          Not having a clear contract

   •          Blurring coach–friend lines

A safe coaching relationship is structured, consensual, and co-created.

5. Coaching can be dangerous if it activates old wounds without proper resourcing.

Many clients come with:

   •          perfectionism

   •          people-pleasing

   •          fear of disappointing the coach

   •          a harsh inner critic

   •          past trauma

   •          burnout

   •          chronic stress

If the coach pushes for action when the client needs resourcing,

If the coach creates insight without integration,

If the coach brings awareness without somatic grounding,

 The client can leave the session dysregulated, not empowered.

When the coach is:

·       ethically trained

·       trauma-aware

·       grounded

·       regulated

·       reflective

·       collaborative

·       anchored in ICF standards

·       able to refer out when needed

·       non-directive

then coaching becomes:

   •          transformative

   •          clarifying

   •          growth-oriented

   •          stabilizing

   •          deeply empowering

So, to set the records straight: coaching is a very powerful growth tool, WHEN DONE RIGHT and by the right people.

It's the same as a lot of practices in this world: medicine, psychotherapy, psychiatry, and so on.

When done right, they are life saving.

When done wrong or in an unethical way, that cause great harm.

I am curious:

What is your experience with coaching?