Emotional dysregulation is not always obvious

When people think about emotional dysregulation, they often imagine something intense and visible: panic attacks, emotional breakdowns, moments when everything feels out of control. 

And yes, sometimes emotional dysregulation does look like that. But much more often, especially for adults who function well on the outside, it shows up quietly and persistently in everyday life.

It can look like constant tiredness that sleep does not fix. Like irritability toward the people you love the most. 

Like feeling strangely disconnected from your own emotions, even when you know something matters to you. 

It can feel like overthinking that never really turns off, or like an ongoing need to stay in control because letting go feels unsafe. 

Sometimes it shows up as difficulty saying no, as always pushing through, as holding everything together while slowly losing contact with yourself.

These are not personality flaws. They are signs of a nervous system that has learned to stay on high alert for a long time. 

When your system lives too long in protection mode, your body adapts, and these patterns begin to feel normal. But normal does not always mean regulated.

One of the most important shifts in this work of regulating out emotions, is moving from self-judgment to self-understanding. 

From asking “What is wrong with me?” to asking “What is my system trying to protect me from right now?” 

This is where regulation becomes possible, not as a performance, but as a relationship with yourself that slowly changes the way you live, relate, and choose.

Before you close this article, I want to invite you into a short moment of conscious breathing. For me, breathing exercises are the go-to practice whenever I need some mental space or when I need to regulate my nervous system. 

1. Find a comfortable and safe space and close your eyes. 

2. Breathe naturally and notice your body for a few seconds.

3. Notice any bodily sensations. 

4. Now, take a deep breath from the lower part of you stomach. 

5. When you can't take any more air in, hold your breath for 2-3 second. 

6. Exhale naturally and slowly, without any force. Take a normal cycle of breath (in and out). 

7. Now repeat at least 5-10 times. 

Regulation begins with awareness, and it continues with conscious actions.