Why overthinking is not a thinking problem

The beginning of a year often brings hope, but also a subtle pressure to get things right, to think ahead, to make better decisions, to not repeat old patterns.

Over the past weeks, I’ve been writing about emotional regulation and how dysregulation shows up in everyday life, especially for people who function well on the outside. 

As I thought about me in particular and my coping mechanisms, I realised that one of the most common experiences that appears in this context of dysregulation is overthinking.

We usually treat overthinking as a flaw of the mind. As something to stop, control, or replace with better thoughts. But very often, overthinking is not a thinking problem at all.

It is a nervous system response.

When the nervous system does not feel safe enough, the mind steps in to create a sense of control. Thinking becomes a way to stay alert, prepared, and protected. The mental loops are not there to solve your life. They are there to reduce uncertainty.

This is why overthinking often intensifies in very specific moments. After a difficult conversation. When something important is unresolved. Late in the evening, when the day finally slows down. Before making a decision that feels loaded or irreversible. In those moments, the system hasn’t yet returned to a regulated state, and the mind stays active, trying to keep things together.

Telling yourself to “stop overthinking” rarely helps. The mind is not doing something wrong. It is responding to pressure, responsibility, or perceived threat in the only way it knows how.

Instead of trying to silence your thoughts, a more useful question might be this:

In what moments of your day does overthinking tend to appear for you, and what is usually happening just before it does?

Not as something to fix, but as information.

Around which people, topics, or situations does it show up most clearly? When does it quiet down?

These patterns are not random. They are signals. And when you begin to recognize them, something important shifts. You move from self-criticism to understanding. From fighting your mind to listening to what it is trying to protect.

This kind of awareness is often the first step toward real change.